Where the light enters you

Lucas has been asking for weeks to see A Wrinkle in Time. I took him today.

I wish I had done my research. I didn't remember much of the book - a dad who discovers how to fold time/distance, gets lost in the universe, finds his way home with the help of his daughter who discovers herself along the way. What I forgot was that there was a little boy about Lucas's age who was adopted by the family just days before the dad vanished into thin air. There were adults talking about the kids in earshot, discussing what they went through as if they weren't human enough to hear and understand. There was bullying.  I peeked over and saw him wiping his eyes twice. About twenty minutes in, he leaned over and told met that he thinks that maybe we should have waited for my 14 year old daughter (here known as Elizabeth) to come with us. Three minutes after that, he grabbed onto my arm and put his head on my shoulder, telling me that he was sleepy. I let him know that if anything in the movie was upsetting to him and he wanted to leave, all he needs to do is say so and that I wouldn't be angry.

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you," (Rumi) was one of the quotes in the movie. For him, I don't think it could be more true.

He leaned over two minutes later and told me we should go and wait for Elizabeth. I put my arm around him, and we left. He was pensive for the rest of the afternoon. I can't help but wonder which parts got to him.

"I wish I could trust CYS," he said in the car today. "They don't know everything. They don't even know half of everything."

I'm working on learning to be soft and be steel all at once... because when he starts telling those stories, I need to be his pillow to crash into and still stand upright and support him.

... and then, after he's asleep, I'll need to find a quiet place and cry my eyes out.