"Oh you poor little thing."

I have decided to call him Lucas here. I just love the name.

Toys R Us is closing, so Lucas and I were out hunting down some deals. It was in part a bust, as the LEGO sets were only 10% off. He wants to build the huge Ninjago sets and display them in his room, but they are about $100-150 apiece. We did, however, manage to score a Nerf crossbow at 40% off.

While we were in line to check out, he quietly said to me, "I love my Nerf thing and all, but I can't wait to get out of this place. The baby stuff reminds me of too many things."

"What kind of things?"

"I'm not telling you that here. Someone might hear me, and they will be all, "Ooh, you poor little thing." He rolled his eyes.

We checked out and walked to the car. Once inside, I told him that he never has to worry about me feeling sorry for him.

The truth is, I won't. I may grieve for his innocence, but I won't feel sorry. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need someone making him feel like he is a helpless victim who has no control over any part of his life. He wants to feel empowered. He wants to feel strong. He wants acknowledgment that at five, six, seven years old, he figured out how to survive when the adults in his life failed to meet his basic needs.

I told him so... and that I hope that in the future he will feel better telling me things because he knows that I will not get all weepy or angry. He needs to worry about himself in those moments, not about me.

He did end up telling me a few things later, none of which I will put here. I'm sure some things will be harder to hear without a visible reaction, but I'll take them one at a time and share those feelings with him as they come up. Sometimes, he's going to need to know that someone is pissed because of what someone else did to him.

He will need the validation. I will just need to offer it with control and level-headedness so that he does not feel his world shake as he tells his story.