We signed him up for Tae Kwon Do. It's excellent for focus, self-discipline, a positive place to put negative energy, and exercise.
He did not know what to expect. There were bellyaches and complaints. He had a moment of sheer panic when my wife took him to visit the dojang. There were tears... and eventually he managed to articulate that he was afraid of getting hurt. More than that, he was worried that he would have to get hit and kicked over and over again in order to make him tough and brave. It was heartbreaking to hear because I know the fear comes from somewhere.
This morning, when I woke him to get ready for his lesson, he told me that he didn't think he could go because his stomach was "dead". We had an early dinner last night, so he agreed to eat some oatmeal and see how he felt. He was just generally off... complained about his stomach, about the "monkey suit" that he had to wear... but he was talking and not just being grumpy or acting out. I pulled him onto my lap, and I told him that Tae Kwon Do is something that I think he will really enjoy. I reassured him that I would never take him to anyone I thought would ever hit him or push him to toughen up by beating on him, and that I would throw myself in front of him if anyone ever did (he found the mental picture of this pretty amusing). I asked if he thought he could trust me on it and see what happened. He reluctantly agreed.
The Master at the dojang is an older gentleman - soft-spoken, kind, and quietly insistent upon respect. He is exactly what the child needs. I was so impressed with the way the little guy received the instruction, too - eye contact, full attention, and he has a natural talent. After about five minutes, his whole demeanor changed, and he was all smiles. He's actually good at it. If I can speak of such things in musical terms, his movements were staccato sharp. I was really impressed.
After the lesson, I told him how great he did during the lesson and how absolutely proud I am of him for taking a chance on something that made him nervous. "Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't brave. You had every reason to be scared today because of things you remember, and you decided to trust me enough to try something new. That's something even some grownups aren't brave enough to do."
His little face lit up, and he threw his arms around me and buried his face in my shirt. He stayed like that, squeezing me for some time.
There were a million unspoken words... half his, and half mine... and yet in those few moments, we understood each other perfectly.
I adore that little boy.
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