It Lingers.

Crazy busy week. I'm only here for a moment to try to clear out the muck clogging my head.

I had the opportunity this week to have a heart to heart conversation with a child who had just been adopted that day by a stepparent. The situation with her non-involved biological parent, with whom she has had no contact in many years, is an ugly one.

She said she felt let down and sad after the court adjourned... that she had expected for everything to feel bigger and more dramatic. She was glad for the outcome, but not overflowing with joy, and that confused her. We had a talk about it; the conclusion we came to is that she was extremely relieved that he can no longer take steps to make her miserable or keep her from opportunities in her future, but that the past wasn't going away. It doesn't all poof the moment the adoption decree goes out. The trauma remains. The anger, the grief - all of it. It wasn't something she anticipated. I think she expected a slammed door of closure and was very bummed when she realized that she still had to deal with her own head and all that is in it.

Now it's up to her to figure out how to work through it and how to leave whatever negative baggage can manage to set down on the side of the road as she travels.

I can see this same conversation happening one day with Lucas. His drastically black and white thought processes make me fully expect that he will be very baffled when adoption does not immediately result in a perfectly wrapped box of Over It.