The Differences.

Our dentist, whom we pay out of pocket for Lucas, emphatically told us that Lucas needs to be evaluated for early orthodontic intervention because of the condition of his teeth.

We made an appointment at the only orthodontist within 50 miles that takes the "insurance" provided to foster children by the state. A week later, we went in.  They took x-rays that they did not need to take only to pat me on the head and tell me that with cases like this, they like to wait until the kids are older, and then they can do it all at once. It will be easier and less of a nuisance to him, he said.

Let's review that. Cases like this.

That would be cases like this, for which the state doesn't ever actually pay for stage 1 care (in which a child's permanent teeth have not yet forced out all of the baby teeth).  Charity cases. Cases in which they expect to have no follow through and no payment.

I left feeling too stunned to even react.

We scheduled an appointment with another orthodontist in the area. As suspected, they do not even submit to the insurance provided for foster children. I let the receptionist know that regardless of what the state does or does not do, we are providing for this child and will pay out of pocket if necessary.

The orthodontist looks at the existing x-rays provided by our primary dentist, looks in Lucas's mouth and immediately identifies exactly what has been causing him pain. He explains the process of palate expansion using a retainer and how it will be especially helpful for Lucas because it will also prevent the bruising caused by his bottom teeth due to overbite and may ease nighttime grinding. They explain the financials, take molds and photos, and we are on our way.

I will not publicly call out by name the first orthodontic office for its callous treatment. I will only say that at the second, Lucas was treated like a child rather than a liability or a debt.

I don't know at whom I should be the most pissed - the professionals who treat my kid like a thorn, or the state that has created a system in which professionals who try to work with the system never actually get paid. Both? The whole thing sucks. I'm thankful that at least most of it sails right over Lucas's head.

I'm also thankful that, when they are patronizing and plastic-faced, I have the self control to not completely flip out. The only way to keep things like this from affecting Lucas are for him to never be filled in on the fact that they're happening.

He deserves better.

Wanderings.

My wife took Lucas and my daughter to the amusement park today. He is a few months shy of ten years old and has never been to one.

We have a permanency hearing tomorrow. I don't expect anything to go awry, but my stomach flops every single time we have to step into a courtroom. I'm hoping that maybe we will leave with a date for a Termination of Parental Rights hearing. Thirty days from whenever that happens, we can adopt.

I'm focusing on breathing and trying not to stress. He stresses enough for all of us, and freaking him out further is not an option.